Virgin Joke Maker

My students are witty and clever.

I teach high school art. During the painting unit, the students are to get a grasp on color theory and color mixing. Because the school is too gigantic (35 students per class), we can only afford to use tempera paint which is probably the worst paint that there is.

And since the students are so uneducated when it comes to anything, we have to start with the very basics. What is color? What are primary colors? What two colors do you get when you mix yellow and red? How did you make it to high school?

One student, while mixing a red-purple, thought he’d try his hand at being funny.

Failing miserably, he caught my attention and said, “Mr. ********, check it out. I just mixed Virgin Red,” naming this new color that he’d invented something to try to make me laugh or get a rise out of me. Some other students at the table laugh at this new fun name due to underdeveloped senses of humor.

Luckily, I realized that he was not funny, and said back to him as seriously as possible, “You’re right, Kevin. You did make a dark red,” as though I did not even hear his stupid attempt at a joke. “Good job.”

“No, no. Mr. ********, Virgin Red.” He tried again, smiling.

“Yeah. I heard you. Dark Red,” I nodded smiling innocently. “Nice work.”

“No.” He’s beginning to get frustrated. “Mr. ********. VIRGIN Red.” And it was still not funny.

Angrily and quickly through my teeth, I reply, “Yes, Kevin. That’s what I said. DARK Red. I heard you the first time.”

The look of confusion on his face said it all. I had confused the crap out of him, and made the other students laugh, not with him, but at him without him even realizing.