A Letter on Dress Code

Dear female students,

I think you may be under the impression that low-cut shirts and really short shorts are sexy. Let me do you a huge favor and tell you that it is not attractive; in fact, it’s really disgusting to see you dress this way. I don’t want to see your gut either, sicky. Stuff that back in there, then get a shirt that fits. You are embarrassing yourself. There are better ways to get the attention of the male students than to dress like a skank. Don’t sacrifice your dignity.

Dear male students,

I didn’t come to work today to see your underwear. Please pull up your pants and wear a belt or do not come into my room. It’s not even difficult to wear one. It goes through the loops then you buckle it. I have some twine in the back which will also work. Perhaps you could dress like a human being while you’re in school. What? People dress dumb outside of school too? That’s a shame. So it’s up to me to inflict morals and values and teach you how to dress? Well, I’ll get right to work.

Anyway have a great school year,
Your Teacher